commercials i hate

How many times have you been watching TV and get so confused or engrossed in the commercials that you completely forget what you were watching? “All the time” is the right answer. Most times I just make a face like I smelled a bad fart after I see a commercial I dislike but these are especially enraging to me.

Stelara – psoriasis injection medicine?

Here is my beef with this commercial – they use a model who won America’s Next Top Model or some garbage show like that and she wears four different outfits to represent the different seasons. UH HUH. “I’m Cari Dee, watch me the wear the same fugly ¾ sleeve, knee-length dress in four different colors.” Bitch, you’re not fooling anyone! “Look at this polyester dress I’m wearing at THE BEACH!” Those clothes don’t show shit, let alone less psoriasis. Lick me.

State Farm “nevers”

If you look at the comments on the commercial on YouTube, a lot of people think this guy is a douche. That never really occurred to me. What bothers me is that every time he and wife say “I’m never *fill in the blank*” then they DO IT. So, by reason of common sense and logic, if you say you’re never letting go then THAT MEANS YOU ARE LEAVING YOUR FAMILY, IDIOT!

Chevy Malibu

Premise: kids like the Malibu better than the Toyota Camry because it has its own WIFI and they can watch their movie. FALSE. Kids like watching the movie better because their tiny brains are underdeveloped still and you are bombarding them with animated, horrid characters at a high speed of rate with lots of music and subliminal advertising. You could put them in a dumpster behind a strip club on the American side of Niagara Falls and if it had WIFI they would be happy so long as you DON’T STOP SOPHIA THE FIRST.

This is why you can’t vote or join the military until you are 18: undeveloped frontal lobe. Get off my lawn, Chevy.

ANY COMMERCIAL WITH CHEWING

This is it. The end of my patience and brain and tolerance is amplified chewing and/or mouth noises. Every once in a while one of those graphics will show up on social media about misophonia and it’s not widely accepted etc. but I just know that chewing, the dog licking his paw, the weird noise in Eric’s jaw, a spoon scraping the inside of a yogurt container/cup/anything plastic makes me more than enraged. I didn’t know it was a disorder, just that all my siblings and I pretty much share the same mental breakdown over it. I assumed our mom rang a little bell and dropped hate drops in our eyes when someone made a mouth noise. This went on while we were watching TGIF.

a-clockwork-orange-475864l

While I feel badly for Brett, this commercial resulted in me FREAKING OUT one day when I couldn’t find the remote to mute it so I put my hands over my ears and yelled “LALALALALALALALALALALA” until it was over, LIKE A GODDAMN ADULT.

You gotta give it to the CDC, that’s effective marketing.

And just for a little awesomeness, here is one commercial I love because it’s absolutely absurd and she looks like my friend Merry and Merry is unhinged enough to do this in real life. Enjoy.

K, bye.

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commercials i hate

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