I try not to write unless I have something to say because nothing is more boring than going on and on about what you ate that day, unless you’re a REAL food critic. Today, I have so much to say that I can’t get my mind to settle down and focus so I’m just going to launch off.
There are a great many things I don’t understand about the interactions between men and women. On a broader scale, I realize we have different chromosomes and probably mental synapses but it’s also probably mostly my own nonsense. I don’t understand the rules for making new friends of the opposite, straight sex as an adult. I immediately go to “what does he really want” in my brain. I have a lot of boundaries. Shocking, I know. I like everything to be very clear cut and black and white. Ambiguity makes me crazy. Well, my perception of ambiguity makes me crazy. So naturally the easiest thing to do is be an asshole and not bother with someone if you aren’t dating them. Why do you want to talk to me if we aren’t banging? I don’t get it.
Last night I had forced social interaction with coworkers, known as team dinner. It was a great time actually. We went to this jazz club to see Sly and the Family Stone. First, I guess Sly is drugged out of his mind now so there is a different singer but the drummer, sax player and trumpeter are all a part of the original band. They have been playing together for 46 years. Say what?! Second, I actually recognized most of their songs. “IIIIIIIIII-I-I-I-I, am every day people!” The trumpeter and sax player made me smile until my face hurt. The whole band was wearing their own version of a shiny teal top and black pants. These two were 65 years old, rocking leather pants and just JAMMING OUT. It made me so happy. I hope I am able to have half the passion for something for half the amount of time that they had for their music. At one point she, the trumpeter, yelled “get out, squares!” into the mic. It was the best moment of the show. She also changed from her heels into these awesome orthopedic sandals at one point. Whatever helps you keep dancing. No judgement from this woman, at least.
An awful, awful thing happened in Connecticut today, one that I can’t fathom. I keep oscilating between anger and sadness and no report or opinion or different angle of coverage will change the outcome. One sick boy took his anger and frustration out on people and children that had nothing to do with his problem. We can rant all we want about gun control and protection but until we get serious about mental illness and effective and consistent help, these things will happen. If you take away guns someone will simply find another way. You aren’t fixing the real problem. I’d be curious to see the statistics of health care of a nation and if there is a correlation to violence with deadly weapons. It also hurts my heart as a childless woman to think why would I want to bring something so precious into this world and risk it being taken away. It would crush me. I know some of you will think that it’s a rare occurrence but it seems like you can’t take them to school, the movies, the mall or pretty much anywhere without something awful happening lately. Today as I was reflecting on what happened in Connecticut and a few awful things that happened at work this week I thought “OK, it’s not the end of the world…” and I actually paused. I didn’t laugh. Our downfall won’t be the end of a certain kind of calendar that some natives used thousands of years ago. It will be because we didn’t look out for each other.