This isn’t a new post actually so my bad. The formatting was messed up and I have no idea how to fix it so I deleted the original offender and am reposting. Ha!
Occasionally, I leave the remote with Captain…and immediately regret it. We had a pretty productive day today so we watched a movie On Demand while we were having dinner. It was Diablo Cody’s Young Adult and it was hilarious and awesome and I will continue my girl crush on Charlize Theron. I made salmon, tilapia, brown rice and steamed vegetables and didn’t fuck it up and no one has food poisoning. Baby steps. Anyway, I got up to put the last load of laundry in the dryer and wash my face because–God love hormones–I am breaking out like a mofo right now. I came back into the living room and he was watching some awful PBS special with subtitles that looked about 20 years old. Sigh. I decided it would be a good idea to pretend to write but I’m sober as a bird and don’t have much to rant about. I could give you a random roundup of nonsense though.
I was in SC for work last week and got back late on Friday night. With the spring time change and terrible schedule and East Coast adjustment, I got about ten hours of sleep in three days. When I passed out on the couch on Friday night, I woke up long enough to shuffle to bed and sleep until 11 on Saturday. I briefly woke up at 7:45 to answer a call from my brother, or my niece as it turned out to be. Then she texted me. Kid’s got game, jibberish game, but game. Captain dutifully went to the gym and I had breakfast and watched some episodes of Whitney and Up All Night. I can’t explain my love of Roxanne enough. I know she isn’t a real person but when all my real friends are busy planning weddings and taking care of newborns, I pretend she’s my real friend. Also, my favorite quote from Christina Applegate on Up All Night was in reference to tantrums, which she called “oh, you mean normal reaction to injustice?!” Captain and I have “discussions” all the time where I yell and he laughs. Today on the way to the park we were “discussing” how dirty Shiner is right now so I told him I would give him a bath when we got home. “He’s been chipping the enamel in the tub,” he tried to pull on me. “WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK! Do you want me to bathe him or not, and PS, there’s no FUCKING WAY he chipped the enamel in the tub!!!” Tooooooooooootally reasonable conversation and the bath didn’t happen today. Plus if Cujo could do anything to the tub it would be to scratch the enamel, not chip it. The chips look like, oh, I don’t know, maybe someone keeps dropping shit when they are in the shower from a height of 6’1”…
We also went to the mall on Saturday night and while I was buying lady things in a lady store, Captain strolled around. Normally he comes back with candy. Last time when I was buying a new suit he came back with F-15 gummies. Quite clever, if you ask me. This time he said he had a present for me and it was a charm necklace…of brass knuckles covered in rhinestones. The best thing to do was to put it on my grenade necklace of course.
He also made me promise that if he rubbed my feet, I would write a book this year. SUCKER!! All I’m capable of right now is crazy infrequent rambling blog posts that I don’t edit and post really late so no one really sees them. Plus, what’s he going to do if I don’t? Take back a foot rub?
I can think of 18,496 things I would rather do than go to work tomorrow. These include sleep in, workout, give the dog a bath for real, pack up my apartment so we can move and figure out what to do with my life/career/job. I’m not whining (see Hierarchy of Bitching) but I need to stop myself from trying to advance in the corporate world if I really do want to write. Ok, bye.