gather round, children

It’s about to get real up in here. Let me teach you a bit about my day by backing up about a month. I got wind of an event at work from a friend that could make for an interesting story for our corporate daily news. In my attempt to meet my story quota, I started digging around and asked some colleagues in another business unit if they were going to  cover it and if not, could I. Yes, was their answer. Have at it, sort of. (In a round about way I discovered it was more their story than ours but as long as everyone gets proper credit, it doesn’t really matter who WRITES about it.) So I attempted to gather information and after a few days of unreturned calls and emails, I finally get enough details to run with. At this point we get bombarded with more urgent things so the story gets put on the bottom of my list for now. After everything settles (sort of) I draft it up and send it to my boss this morning. It isn’t brilliant but it’s ok. She LOVED it. I only had to change a few minor things and sent it off for approval to the other business unit communicators and an engineer. I also made the title a play off a Bruce Springestein song (winning!) and she kept it. I move on to other neglected tasks. I came back to my desk at lunch and had six text messages. Two were from my sister announcing victory on acquiring a Vera Wang purse for $20 (amazing!) and four were from Captain. Let me summarize his texts for you:

Hey, remember that shit you asked me to do on Monday? Well I waited until today and now you have to drop everything you had planned to accommodate it. Thx! luv ya, bye!

We are trying to move into an apartment just across the street from where he lives now that is owned by the same management company.  The ladies in the leasing office on the property are super nice and awesome. The girl who gave us the tours was kind of sick and still dragging us around in the rain-I stayed far enough away from her-but the actual corporate office are a bunch of pains in the asses. Everything needs quadruple checking and inspections and a blood test and a breast exam and a sperm count, sometimes from the same person. So anyway, he finally called the office today to see about signing the new lease and agreed to let them inspect his current place at 4:30 tomorrow. I’ve been staying there with Shiner and he doesn’t have an anti-pet policy but he didn’t want them to charge him for damage they might blame on the dog. So I had to cart the dog out tonight and put all my shit in the closets. This made me grumpy. I was actually going to be home on time to get to my class at the gym so this upset me. If anyone could use a good Hip Hop Hustle, it’s me. I also realized that I will miss my class on Friday because I can’t go south to the gym, back to my place to get the dog, etc etc in time. So that was off-putting for the rest of the day. I peaced out of work and headed back to Captain’s to start cleaning stuff up. I made the mistake of checking my Blackberry and had a note from the engineer from my story. Basically he said this:

Hey, all the vague, non-proprietary shit you put in the super short story is too much detail. My colleagues agree. Let’s talk on Monday when I get back. K, thx luv ya bye!

This sent me into an Anger Spiral. First, I should have told the other group to write the story, since it involved more of their people. Second, I should have pushed back when I wasn’t getting a response from the people who conducted the test. Third, I should have dropped it a week ago when my boss asked if it would make a good story. (It IS a good story!!!) Fourth, DON’T WASTE MY TIME WHEN I INTERVIEW YOU!!!!! Fuck! First I sent a note to my boss saying I’m over it and we can kill this story if you want. Then I sent a polite note to the engineer and other communicators saying “hey, it’s cool but if we take out too much detail it won’t be worth running. Let’s talk on Monday.”

So I made myself dinner and then I took a nap with Captain. When I got to my place I turned the heat back on and did an inventory of food: not much. I decided to sprinkle some Parmesan cheese on rice cakes and put them under the broiler. I may have burned the edges a bit. They tasted fine though. I decided I needed one more so this time put the temperature on 425. When I checked it there was barely any color so a normal person who has had half a bottle of wine put the temperature back on the broiler. After three minutes I checked it again and it was on FIRE. Luckily, I disabled the smoke detector previously because it kept beeping for no reason.  Did I ever mention my dad and grandpa were firefighters? Grandpa was a captain. 🙂

Partial evidence of why I like salad so much
Safety Sal











Also, writer pet peeve, I know I often switch between tenses in my writing. I am far too tired to bother to correct it tonight, so deal with it.

gather round, children

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