hierarchy of bitching

I’d like talk to you today about what I like to call the Hierarchy of Bitching. First, are you familiar with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? Here, read this first: http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/a/hierarchyneeds.htm Ok, welcome back. Did you get ADD and search a bunch of other crap? Sometimes I do that too. Well, a lot actually. So the other day at work we were talking about perspective and how some people never got the joy of working in retail. I personally feel like everyone should work in either retail or a restaurant at some point in their life to really appreciate what a bunch of dicks the general public are. It makes the nice people really stand out, trust me. When I was working in Big Box Hell during one of many shifts, an elderly couple came through my line and the man whispered something to his wife and she looked at me and said “You’re the first person to smile at us.” “Oh yeah, everyone seems a little grumpy today,” was my attempt at an answer, to which she came back with “No. EVER.” Win. I gave them an extra smile at the end for next time and they thought it was hilarious. I’m hilarious!

Anyway, I completely understand when people are frustrated with their job. Day after day I wonder how many fatigue tests they put my desk through before it actually collapses from slamming my mouse and banging my head. Then I contemplate being a human coupon for the next fatigue cycle. NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!!  So, I get it. However, let’s start at the beginning: I HAVE A JOB. Guess what? No matter how many times I want to call it in, I know there are at least a hundred people immediately available, local and probably more qualified to do my job and there would be no taksie backsies. I would be gone with little hope of getting back in. So, a quick check: is it really and truly and unfair, unsafe/dangerous job or are you bitching? Are you wandering around the streets looking for change and eating out of dumpsters? If no, check step 2.

Step 2: Security needs. This is not “My co-pay went up $10!” This is, do I even have health insurance?  You know what sucks? Paying out-of-pocket for every single medical expense, God forbid a chronic disease or illness like cancer. You know what is tolerable? Paying $10 once a year for a visit for a health screening. Give up your Starbucks for two days, ya cheap bastard. Flip side: jacking up the health insurance of your workforce and claiming it’s comparable to other shitty standards. Livable, but shitty.

Step 3: Social needs. Now that we are in a rhythm, I have a great team. For real. There are days when I’m sure we want to throttle each other but we get through it. There was a time though when I felt sick to my stomach when my alarm went off every morning because I was dreading the inevitable confrontation that was bound to happen. They were daily. I also have friends who have bat-shit crazy bosses that make their lives miserable for the 8+ hours a day. There is a difference between bosses that are crazy, verbally abuse psychos and bosses that give you work and don’t ask about Timmy and Susie’s soccer games. You know what? I don’t want to hear about your kids’ shitty games either, loudly, on speakerphone to your wife every morning. Does it make me want to quit my job? No, it makes me want to unplug your phone and throw it over the balcony and into a running CFM engine.

Step 4 and 5, esteem and self-actualization, I’d like to combine with this thought: SHUT THE FUCK UP. It is a snotty-ass complaint to say that you aren’t “fulfilled” or “satisfied” in your career. And if you even use the word career instead of job you should stick your own foot up your ass right now. I can’t tell you how many people busted their asses through college and either don’t have jobs or had to switch to a bizarre path just to make ends meet. I have a super random job but it makes the bills with some extra. So I fall into this last category. I like to remind myself of this constantly when I catch myself being a whiner. I have my badge from Big Box Hell because I thought I lost it but it was under my car seat. I found it after I quit so I keep it in my cube at work to remind myself that it could ALWAYS be worse.

And now, some random pictures to sweeten the venom above 🙂


Where did the bed go??!!! Funny every time.
I drew this on the plane to Maryland. It's a cat, a house, a boy playing a tuba and a tree.
A tomato, carrot and their new friend, walnut. And some creepy faces.
hierarchy of bitching

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