driving

I would like to caveat this lesson giving by being upfront with you. I’m already in pajamas and it’s 7:05 pm, I am watching the Pauly Shore movie “Son in Law”, I’m eating eggs for dinner and drinking a wine sprtizer. The eggs are mostly because I am trying to get rid of stuff in the frig before the holiday; the pajamas because I left work early from a killer headache and no real excuse for Pauly Shore. I just love that movie. Steven Tyler pjs! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lx8vZGLoFBs&feature=share

I’ve lived in the Puget Sound area for almost four years now. You can expect certain things: rain from October to June with no mercy; locals will not be friends with you; great seafood; and it gets dark at 4pm in the fall. I have also lived all over this country and have encountered some bad drivers. It might be the worst I’ve ever seen up here. I understand that I grew up on the East Coast and therefore already have a large amount of road rage that is ingrained but seriously, get it together. Drivers have no problem TORCHING through neighborhoods full of children but will camp out in the left lane on the highway and go five miles under the speed limit. You know what lane I drive in? The right lane. Even the center lane clogs up but I can almost speed in the right lane.

A safety tip for fellow drivers: one of the basic principles is see and BE SEEN. Headlights aren’t just for seeing, dipshits. It’s so other drivers can see you when it’s raining or dark or disgusting out like 99% of the time here. It also turns on your tail lights, which are crucial when you are just driving along and all of a sudden the car in front of you in inexplicably slams on the brakes so everyone behind you throws up their lady business from hitting the seat belt so hard. Thanks. You owe me a uterus. And gas money, for that matter if we’re keeping score here. I’m about to send fourth and fifth gear back to Dodge because I rarely use them. I live twenty miles from work and it’s mostly highway. It takes me about an hour to get there no matter what time I leave in the morning. No one can seem to have a nice, peaceful commute. I have not had ONE commute in the last almost three weeks where someone hasn’t slammed into another car, backing traffic up for miles. I always hope no one was injured but it also makes me want to get out of the car and put my heel through a headlight. Pay the fuck attention! Sometimes, my favorite of all Puget Sound traffic anomalies, you will be at a stand still for ten to fifteen minutes, toggling between second and third gear and pure rage and you will come to a spot and magically everyone picks up the pace. Maybe it’s from an earlier accident. Usually you will pass a benign obstruction, like a cop with someone pulled FAR over to the side, and people feel the need to slow down to a crawl. Now, no need to go 70 passed stopped cars on the shoulder. That’s dangerous. If you don’t want to drive by them, move over to the next lane carefully and be on your way. The cop isn’t going to jump back into his cruiser and pull you over. He has other things to do. Aside: Captain and I saw a tiny lady Trooper actually putting some giant tall guy in cuffs last weekend. It was awesome. You go, Charlie’s Angel.

Ok enough. I ordered Turbo Fire http://www.teambeachbody.com/workout-routines/turbofire-workout and it just arrived so I need to preview it so I can jump around in the morning! I’m pretty pumped. I credit a lot of my more recent happiness to being healthier and making it a priority to work out. I’m not perfect at it, but it’s getting better and I feel WAY better already. It started with my tiny trainer at Fuerte Fitness a year ago and has continued with Beachbody products at home. The only problem is now I have four resistance bands of roughly the same shade of pink and red and they vary from five to thirty pounds I think. If you don’t hold onto that thirty pounder tight, it will smack you in the face. Trust me.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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driving

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