Procrastination, my favorite

I will make any excuse to get out of something.  Seriously, if you could sell excuses or unconvince yourself for a living, I would be CEO of a multinational corporation.  Sometimes I use the excuse that I work better under pressure.  The reality is that I just work under pressure.  I graduated college with a 2.88, partly due to failing physics, which I never understood at my best effort, and partly because I waited until the last minute to do everything.  If I actually took the time to do things more than 24 hours before a deadline, it would probably make more sense.  Tonight is one of those nights.  I was supposed to do a paper for accounting a few weeks ago and just didn’t do it.  Call it apathy, call it skating, call it whatever.  I figured at this point it was too late to turn in and the rest of my grades would have to make up for it.  Well after achieving an astounding 40% on my midterm I realized that it could have been a huge error to not do it.  A quick regrouping and I figured with the group project grades and the problem sets I would be ok.  That was until the incredible professor somehow managed to NOT send the midterm to a few people.  Feeling as though it would be unfair AKA covering her ass, she would take the better grade of the midterm or the paper.  Fuck.  A forty or a zero.  Fantastic, even I can do that math.  So after I submitted our horrible group paper this morning, a whole other subject, I came back home to start my individual report.  First I finished the coffee I got at Starbucks and had some jalapeno cheddar bread.  As I was watching TV I wiped jalapeno in my eye and decided it was a good time for a nap.  Did it matter I had only been awake for 3 hours?  Nope, I love naps.  They are second only to nachos.  A glorious 3 hours later and I was ready to watch the George Lopez show.  What a fun insight into Latino culture!  After that I changed the channel to some CSI and made some soup for dinner, jalapeno free.  It was only about 6pm so I had plenty of time to get it done.  The soup didn’t really quite do it for me (I don’t recommend Wolfgang Puck’s Mexican tortilla soup, even if it was on sale) so I needed something else.  In hindsight this is probably the biggest anti-homework decision I have ever made.  I needed to eat a pomegranate.  Have you ever had one of those beasts?  They had about 8 million seeds in them and are super messy if you chose to not deseed them in a bowl of water.  One hour, three paper towels and a bowl of scraps later I was done.  7pm.  I actually got my computer and fired it up to start rereading the case study.  Somehow I was still hungry, but probably just bored, so I decided I could eat again at 8.  First I had better go to the bathroom though.  As I was washing my hands I noticed a red dot on my cheek.  Then a few more on my other cheek, forehead, sweatshirt and hand.  After washing them off I decided that I should call Matt and invite him to lunch tomorrow.  Ok voicemail left.  When I sat back down in the chair there were red dots all over the wall and my chair as well.  It looked like high velocity blood spatter but since no one had been shot at close range, it was probably pomegranate shrapnel that had blasted me in the face earlier.   Back to the bathroom to get a washcloth.  Then Matt called back and we made plans to have brunch and maybe go to the museum.  Yes I am a member, how silly of me!  Oh yay, it’s 8!  Time to make popcorn!  One hour and a mess later I was absorbed in Boston Legal.  That one defense lawyer is a total dick, but that’s kind of an oxymoron.  I also thought a quick shower would reenergize me plus I hadn’t taken one all day.  Gross!  That only wasted 15 minutes unfortunately so I got back to reading.  Luckily I also decided to have a glass of wine so I was moving even slower.  It is 11:17 and I will probably get distracted by Saturday Night Live soon so I should probably take the dog out.  Also my nails are getting long and making super annoying clicking noises on the keys.  I should really cut them before I can type this paper out.  I have another 24 hours anyway.  The Bills are on tomorrow and I don’t have tivo.  I could probably do some laundry and wash some dishes too.  My checkbook needs to be reconciled, I have magazines that need to be read, a gym membership that is getting lonely.  I could do this all day people, and probably will.

Procrastination, my favorite

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